High Level Games
High Level Games
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Store
    • Storytellers Vault Products
    • Fantasy Adventures
    • DMs Guild Products
    • Snowhaven
    • Army Men
  • Podcasts
  • Video
  • Trusted Resources
  • Join The Team
  • About
  • Contact
    • Star Trek Adventures
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Store
    • Storytellers Vault Products
    • Fantasy Adventures
    • DMs Guild Products
    • Snowhaven
    • Army Men
  • Podcasts
  • Video
  • Trusted Resources
  • Join The Team
  • About
  • Contact
    • Star Trek Adventures

Welcome to the High Level Games Blog, News, and other stuff to take your games to the next level!

Best Selling RPGs - Available Now @ DriveThruRPG.com

Get Ladies To Play At A Table Near You In 5 Easy Steps!

16/9/2016

4 Comments

 
PictureRoc Upchurch Stjepan Šejić Tess Fowler Tamra Bonvillain Rat Queens, a truly epic story.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Buy Rat Queens, pictured here. It is amazing. 

If I had a dollar for every time a fellow nerd’s jaw hit the floor when The Heavy Metal GM said that he has not one, but TWO women at his 13th Age game table every week, I would be a very rich lady. Before you ask, no, I’m not there just because I’m his significant other, I’m there because I am a Very Scary Murder Hobo Cleric (patent pending) who is damn good at her job, and because I genuinely enjoy playing the game. People are usually pretty quick to complain that they can never get female players to stick around for very long, so I decided to write up some pointers for doing so.
 
I’m writing this with the assumption that you want women at your table to balance out your game, not because you want to get into their pants; if your interest is in the latter, move along, this is not the article droid you’re looking for. These tips are also pretty universal, but ladies appreciate them! Also – creeps come in every gender, and I’m using “that guy” as a gender neutral term.

1. R-E-S-P-E-C-T FIND OUT WHAT IT MEANS TO ME~!
 
Simple stuff like not talking over people, listening to their ideas & taking them into account, not invading the personal space bubble, no making fun of someone’s IRL race/gender/sexual orientation/religion/national origin, no name calling (unless you know them well and they can take some friendly ribbing)… you know, the stuff you were supposed to learn in kindergarten? That goes a super long way with anyone, and especially with women. Everyone’s guilty of breaking these rules every now and again, but making a habit of it can be really detrimental for GM & player morale.  
 
2. DON’T BE THAT GUY.
 
“That guy” is the usually well-meaning but still kinda creepy nerd that usually sets off what I like to call the “Spidey sense” and makes women want to run for the hills. This is usually accomplished by that guy staring at certain parts of a person’s body for a bit too long, making an off-hand rape joke (side note: not cool, at all, ever, lose 1,000,000 trust points from every woman in the group), spending a bit too much time describing their character’s sexual exploits in the brothel… you get the picture.

Usually people like this are just a little socially awkward and don’t really mean any harm, but as predators are everywhere, you do get some people who know exactly what they’re doing and get their jollies from making other people uncomfortable. If you realize you have been unintentionally engaging in That Guy behaviors, an apology to those affected will go a long way.  

3. DON’T LET OTHER PEOPLE AT YOUR TABLE BE THAT GUY
 
If you see someone engaging in That Guy behaviors, CALL THEM ON IT. A simple: “hey, that’s not cool” about a remark made in front of the entire group or taking someone aside to tell them not to stare at another player’s bits is usually enough to curb it without anyone’s ego getting too bruised.

If you as the GM notice another player becoming uncomfortable, it’s your responsibility to ask them what’s up (privately is usually best) – your job is making sure everyone is having fun. A lot of people (myself included) are loathe to bring issues up to the GM, particularly if they’re the newest player in the group, and especially if they think complaining about another player’s behavior will lead to them being booted from the group. If one player is making someone else uncomfortable, talk to them about it – and if they don’t behave, it’s time to boot ‘em. Respect for your fellow players is important, & if Joe/Jane Schmoe doesn’t have it, then they’re not worth playing with.
 
4. HAVE A SYSTEM IN PLACE FOR PEOPLE TO STOP THE ACTION & REWIND IF SOMETHING THAT’S HAPPENING IS “SQUICKY” OR TRIGGERING.
 
“Squicky” is something that I believe was originally coined within the fanfic community (I believe it’s a conjunction of squeamish and icky), but refers to stuff that’s really aversive and uncomfortable for someone but isn’t a trigger. So, for me, something squicky would be animal abuse. It’s incredibly uncomfortable for me to think about and I’d rather it not pop up in any games that I play, particularly if I’m in no position to stop it. I have a hard enough time killing basilisks (even after being forced to make last gasp saves because I tried to pet one and it tried to end me), all right?! 
 
By triggers, I mean, real, actual triggers for people with real, actual PTSD (which is really, really common, as in 8,585,500 people according to the 2014 US census and data from NIMH). Triggers are something that remind a person of their traumatic event, and can make it feel like they are re-experiencing that event, with a whole host of psychological and physical symptoms. Since these are supposed to be short, you get my nutshell opinions on triggers & I’m not going to give you the long as heck list of symptoms that can occur during an episode; you want more nuanced stuff, you know where to find me.
 
TL;DR version: it’s not a joke, mental health stigma makes talking about these things way harder than it needs to be, the whole point of playing games is to have a respite from the real world and have fun, being triggered is the exact opposite of that, capisci? DO NOT give that person a hard time, back that action train up, reroute, and move along.
 
5. ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE GOING TO SCREW UP.

You are going to hurt people at your table. This is a fact of life, and it’s okay! We all make mistakes. As long as you’re learning from them, it’s all good. Admitting that you done goofed can be difficult, and your first response is often trying to defend yourself; usually along the lines of “it was just a joke!” But, here’s the deal: one, you need to know your audience before making those types of jokes (i.e. I’m fine with inserting the GAAAY seal gif everywhere even though I’m queer, but someone else might not find it very amusing). Two, there is no such thing as “just a joke”  

Humor is used to define in and out groups and if you’re making a joke at the expense of the demographic characteristics of a person, then you’re making it seem like you accept the –ism that goes along with that. (TL;DR version from someone who’s an expert on this: https://twitter.com/5thcircappeals/status/763098172633657344; this guy’s actual dissertation on this topic: http://jsse.revues.org/406) The best thing to do is bite your tongue when you get the urge to defend yourself, apologize (“Hey; I’m really sorry I made that joke; I didn’t realize that it would be hurtful to you, I’ll try to be more mindful in the future”), actually mean it, move on, and try to be better next time.

FancyDuckie is a 20-something researcher by daylight, and mahou shoujo cosplayer by moonlight! She’s also known to play murder hobo elven clerics with a penchant for shanking twice a week. Also known as “science girlfriend” of The Heavy Metal GM. When she’s not chained to her sewing machine or doing other nerdy stuff, she enjoys watching ballet, musical theatre, pro hockey, and playing with any critter that will tolerate her presence. You can find her on Twitter, Tumblr, ACParadise, Facebook, Instagram, & Wordpress.  

Savage Worlds: Fast, Furious, and Fun! - Available Now @ DriveThruRPG.com
4 Comments
Rave
16/9/2016 05:49:27 pm

I would add to this that when advertising your game, or league or shop, consider how your advertising might appear to women. A lot of female players I spoke to told me they had trouble getting started because it was never marketed as something for 'them'. There's a very, very strong bias in the artwork and marketing towards straight white males. Shadowrun has been a 'mainstream' (as much as rpgs are ever mainstream) leader in changing that for years, and Dnd 5e is making some positive changes too. Carry that over into your advertising a little bit. It doesn't have to be exclusively for women, but just pointing out "beginner friendly, everyone welcome, all gender identities welcome" or something along those lines might make a big difference.

Reply
Jean Grey
16/9/2016 09:23:16 pm

Referring to article #1 above: respect the artists for Rat Queens by attributing their artwork when you use it as an illustration for your blog.

Reply
VP Quinn
6/10/2016 09:46:42 am

You are correct, huge oversight.

As a fan who is sitting next to the first three volumes right now, I know that the picture was chosen to try and give them a shout out, but it wasn't executed the way it was meant to.

I've added an attribution to the caption and a link to purchase their stuff in the post.

Reply
Xavier
3/10/2016 10:01:39 am

I second the second comment, team of Artists:
Roc Upchurch
Stjepan Šejić
Tess Fowler
Tamra Bonvillain

for Rat Queens https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_Queens

Very good comics BTW, buy them and enjoy like a kid in a chocolate factory.

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    All blog materials created and developed by the staff here at High Level Games 

    ​

    Picture
    Click here to support our community for as a little as $1.00 for exclusive content, free downloadable stuff, and even discounts on role-playing game items.

    Archives

    April 2023
    February 2021
    November 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016

    Categories

    All
    13th Age
    2d20
    2nd Edition
    3.5 Edition
    3Deep
    4th Edition
    5th Edition
    7th Sea
    Acquisitions Inc
    Actual Play
    AD&D
    AdventureLookUp.com
    Adventurers!
    Aether Sea
    A+ Fantasy
    After Collapse
    Alignment
    Amazing Tales
    Amazon
    Anima: Beyond Fantasy
    Anime
    Apocalypse World
    Atomic Robo
    Australian
    Award Winning
    Basic Fantasy
    Belly Of The Beast
    Big Eyes Small Mouth
    Black Lives Matter
    Black Void
    Blades In The Dark
    Blood Pangea
    Board Games
    Book Of Exalted Darkness
    BrigadeCon
    Burning Wheel RPG
    Call Of Cthulhu
    Capers RPG
    Casual Roleplaying
    Changeling: The Dreaming
    Chaosium
    Character Arcs
    Character Creation
    Chris Spivey
    Cinematic RP
    Classics
    Comic-books
    Conventions
    Corvus Belli: Infinity
    Crawl
    Creators
    Critical Role
    Cthulhutech
    D100 Dungeon
    D20
    D&D
    D&D Beyond
    Deadlands
    Defenders Of Tokyo
    Degenesis
    Detako Saga
    Discord
    DMsGuild.com
    Dnd
    Dndbeyond
    Doctor-who
    Double-cross
    Dread
    Dresden-files
    DriveThruRPG.com
    Dr. Who
    Dungeon Crawl Classics
    Dungeons
    Dungeons And Dragons
    Dungeon Slayers
    Dungeon World
    Dystopia Rising
    Encounters
    Era: The Consortium
    Era: The Empowered
    Esper Genesis
    Evil Hat
    Exalted
    Faith RPG
    Fandom
    Fantasy-age
    Fantasy-flight
    Fantasy Grounds
    FATE
    Fate Accelerated Edition
    Fate Core
    Fate Rpg
    Fate-rpg
    Final Fantasy
    Forgotten Realms
    Fragged Empire
    Free League Publishing
    Furries
    Game Design
    Game Lore
    Gencon
    Ghosts Of NPCs Past
    GMTips
    Golden-sky-stories
    GoodmanGames.com
    Grognards
    GUMSHOE
    GURPS
    GURPS Lite
    Halloween
    Harlem Unbound
    Harry-potter
    Hero Builder
    Heroes Against Darkness
    Heroes-unlimited
    HERO System
    High Level Games
    Historical Fantasy
    HLG Con 2018
    HLG Reviews
    Homebrew
    Humble Bundle
    Indie
    Interface Zero 2.0
    Interview
    Invisible Suns
    Japanese RPGs
    JRR Tolkien
    Kickstarter
    KoboldPress.com
    KULT
    L5R
    Lankhmar
    LARP
    Lasers And Feelings
    Legendlore
    Legend Of The Five Rings
    LexOccultum
    LOTR
    Low Magic
    Mage
    Mage: The Awakening
    Magic And Steel
    MAID
    Mayhem
    Mazes And Minotaurs
    Meikyuu Kingdom
    Mekton Zero
    Mental Health
    Middle Earth
    Mighty Narwhal
    Mini Six
    Modern Adventures RPG
    Modiphius
    Monarchies Of Mau
    Monsterhearts
    Monte Cook Games
    Morra
    Mummy: The Curse
    Mutants And Masterminds
    Mythender
    Narrative Games
    Nechronica
    Night's Black Agents
    Novel
    NPC
    Numenara
    Odyssey Of The Dragonlords
    One Shot
    Online Gaming
    Orun
    OSCRIC
    Osr
    OVA
    Palladium
    Pathfinder
    Pathfinder 2.0
    PbtA
    PDQ
    Pire: The Masquerade 5th Edition
    Play By Post
    Player Tips
    Podcast
    Powered By Apocalypse
    Power Outage RPG
    Preview
    Promethean: The Created
    Pugmire
    Pulp
    Puzzles
    Questlings
    Ravenloft
    Ravnica
    Red Markets: A Game Of Economic Horror
    Research
    Review
    Review Article
    Rifts
    Risus
    Role Play
    Roll20
    Romance Of The Perilous Land
    Ryuutama
    Satanic Panic
    Savage Rifts
    Savage Tokusatsu
    Savage Worlds
    Seeds Of Wars
    Setting
    Settings
    Settlement Building
    Shadowrun
    SIGMATA
    Snowhaven
    Social Combat
    Social Systems
    Solo Play
    Standard Roleplay System
    Star Trek Adventures
    Star Wars
    Storytellers Vault
    Suited RPG
    Summerland
    Supplements
    System Design
    Table Top
    Tabletop Simulator
    Tales From The Loop
    Tales Of Equestria
    Talislanta
    Tariffs
    Teenagers From Outerspace
    Ten Candles
    Tenra Bansho Zero
    The Dark Eye
    The End Of The World RPG
    The Great Long Dark
    The One Ring
    The Very Important Task
    Titan Effect
    To The Temple Of Doom
    Trial Of Cthulhu
    Trinity Continuum
    TSR Marvel Super Heroes
    Ttrpg
    Twitch
    USTR
    Va
    Valiant Rpg
    Vampire: The Masquerade
    Video Games
    Villian
    Volo
    Vs Ghosts
    Warhammer
    Warhammer 40K
    Werewolf: The Apocalypse
    Westbound RPG
    Wild West
    World Building
    World Of Darkness
    Writing Tips
    Year Zero
    Zweihander

    RSS Feed

Proudly powered by Weebly