5 Things To Do With Dragon Bodies (Should You Manage to Slay One)

Dragons. Powerful, intimidating, taste great with a side of fries and some Sriracha. At some point in every player's life, such a beast will eventually be felled. After all the loot has been divvied up that leaves one loose end up for grabs: The corpse. Now, of course, you could just toss yourself into some dragon scale armor and sell the rest to a few hungry wizards, but where’s the creativity in that?

1- Flamin’ Snack Bar
Dragons are HUGE (gargantuan depending on the age), and obviously, have a lot of meat on their bones. Take into account that their flesh is bound to have unknown magical qualities, and you’ve got a recipe for both disaster and some KFD (Kentucky Fried Dragon). Although, why stop there? Turn the meat into strips and throw on some lettuce and onions and voilà dragon Mac. However, this does make the term “secret sauce” a bit more… secretive for the health inspectors sake.

Cooking is something that everyone can enjoy after all! Maybe not the dragon at this point, however, that doesn’t stop the Rogue from making everyone a nice juicy steak. Except the Druid. But with a dragon, and they’re being so many types, there are endless possibilities for different food styles! Sushi? Dragon turtle. Omelets? Find dragons right after spring time. Something that might poison you? Wyvern tail on a stick. The possibilities are endless!

2- Imposing Effigy
That supernatural intimidation doesn’t just apply to a living breathing beast. If you’ve got a dead dragon keeping an eye on your doorstep, people tend to be wary of both your mental state and your capabilities. Should you happen to have some sort of tinkering capability, maybe you make a massive angry robotic watchdog. Oh, those gnomes. Note: Unless you have some sort of preservation spell, things may get messy.

While your Barbarian cherishes the fight, it’ll be a nice break to give them a little art project on the side, y’know, in between their brutal eviscerations. Additionally, the casters get to take a break from being the parent for a while and can have some adult conversation (bragging) with others about how they were the ones who made the final blow.

3-Dragon's Blood- Potent Poison or Enchanting Enhancer?
Hey, you killed a dragon. That's not something that exactly occurs every day. Through the ages, this may have happened a few dozen times, and that means the qualities of their parts are - for the most part - undiscovered. For the up and coming Wizard, the chance to experiment with such parts is something of a dream come true. Bonus points if you didn’t just buff the Fighter through the roof and send him into the lair.

Perhaps enchanting isn’t your forté, maybe you like to drop in unexpectedly and steal things, or burst through doors and kill everyone in your way. Well, don’t think you can’t benefit, your scrawny smart friend will have some powerful toxins to drench your blade in the hinder your enemies in the long run. Or the short, depending on how well he rolls for alchemy.

4-Impressive Fortifications
Steel-like scales. Hardened hide. Terrifying talons. All such things are so thick and impenetrable that it makes each individual dragon almost like a living castle. But once it’s dead all of those stone-hard materials usually go to waste. However, every good adventurer needs an imposing home. One near-indestructible fort for hoards, training and drinking. Well, take all these parts, find a REALLY good carpenter and send him to work. You’ll have that fire-proof drawbridge and more.

Low on cash? Low on time? Well, maybe you should clean out the insides and just like that, you’ve got a home for your favorite Ranger. They like to rough it right? On the bright side, they don’t have to worry about burning anything down while they’re in this camp.

5-Fabulous Furnishings and Fashion
Back to the first thing I criticized for being a cliché but with a twist- Why not furniture? Not everyone needs heavy armor, but you won’t find a single living creature that doesn’t appreciate a comfortable chair. If a dragonbone dining table doesn’t catch your fancy, perhaps a red-tinted fire-retardant suit? A tantalizing turquoise dress? Perhaps ornate jewelry with a dragon scale in place of a jewel?

Your guests will be pleasantly surprised, or maybe mortified, when you tell them that black leather couch they’ve sat upon for the last hour and a half, was actually in a swamp terrorizing the nearby countryside just a few months ago. Even one’s spouse will appreciate that new sapphire-like gemstone sitting on their hand, but they’ll never quite guess how you got a gem with such a elliptical shape, or a band made of solid platinum.

Where dragons are a versatile species the applications of their corpses have an equally large amount of flexibility. Not to mention you’ll always be the cool kids in town with all your new dragon gear.

Jarod Lalonde is a young roleplayer and writer whose passion for both lead him here. He’s often sarcastic and has a +5 to insult. Dungeons and Dragons is his favorite platform. Although he’s not quite sure if it’s Call of Cthulhu whispering to him in the small hours of the night, or just persistent flashbacks to the Far Realm.

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