I know what you’re thinking, role-playing is quite awful. It is a game that never seems to end, involves sitting for unhealthy amounts of time, filling out forms, and snacking on food that has no expiration date. It is the worst part of office jobs, but done with your free time.
I wanted to try to put a positive spin on this activity when researching it and could not find anything worthwhile to write about. But then, I thought, “Perhaps, role-playing isn't the worst thing. Chances are that there can be things that are more heinous and awful than this activity.” So here is my salute to role-playing in the best possible way I can:
1. Root canals are worse than role-playing
Although, apparently not as painful as the world has lead me to believe, root canals are a horrible dental procedure to correct an even more horrible tooth decay problem. With the large cost of root canals ($800 dollars or so my google-fu tells me), drilling into your dead nerved tooth, and having to keep your mouth open for long amounts of time, I can quite handily say that root canals are worse than your standard table-top RPG game. I can say with confidence that those prices, drills, and face uncomfortableness are not a part of the role-playing experience!
2. Dealing with bureaucracy is worse than role-playing
Yes, both activities have annoying politics and a certain amount of glad-handing attached. And yes, they both have ridiculous forms and rules that are too long to read or comprehend for the average layman. But the key difference is that the rules and forms are not a secret from you when you role-play. You have the same access as the GM to brush up on that knowledge. I think that alone makes role-playing>bureaucracy.
3. Spam emails are worse than role-playing
Spam emails come out of nowhere to offer you a better life; you may feel elated when you see them. Helping out that poor Nigerian prince, getting larger BEWBS or PEniS size, 50% off of those perfect boyfriend jeans, and your new private match to enjoy the warmth of Alora S’s genitals all sound quite worthwhile, but sadly most of them are lies. I didn’t want to break it to you, but it is true. Role-playing is real and genuine, which makes it better than spam email.
4. Papercuts are worse than role-playing
They make you feel inadequately weak. Role-playing doesn’t do that to you.
5. Other drivers are worse than role-playing
Is there no end to the ridiculous amount of errors that those other drivers can muster? Going too slow, too fast, too aggressive, too timid, and generally there is no end to the douchecanoe maneuvers that occur during your daily commute. HOW DID THEY GET THEIR LICENCE, I MEAN, REALLY?!?!? Role-playing is done in a building far from the plagues of other drivers on the road, thus it is far better than those road renegades.
I hope this clears up the idea that role-playing is the worst. Because it is now clearly not.
This article was written with tongue firmly planted in cheek by Vanessa who is a sarcastic, 30-something wife and mother. She likes things and stuff, but not simultaneously. When she isn’t involved in things and stuff, she teaches middle school math and art. She loves new teenagers in action. They make her laugh and shake her head and her world is much better with laughter. She thinks everyone should be roleplaying. She sometimes bothers her friends to help with her blog articles which you can see here and here. She is also trying out this new twitter handle at @sarasma_nessa
I am become death, destroyer of worlds.