We’re all individuals, right? Well, if there’s anything that modern society has taught me, it's that nine times out of ten these “individuals” can be grouped together pretty easily. The tenth time has it's own group. After a while, our characters can fall prey to being our other characters. I know I had a streak where every last one of my characters was an elf, with a bow, who was dead set on starting a business and making literal metric tons of money. Now that I think about it, my most recent character is a half-elf with a magic item problem, who’s dead set on making tons of money. I don’t have a problem… right?
1) Edge Lord
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before; “My parents were killed by *insert creature or powerful being* so I was forced to live on the streets (or raised by bad people); this scarred me. This showed me the dark side of life. It’s also where I learned *insert essential skill to future* and where I perfected it. I now must gain the necessary power to defeat *insert creature or powerful being* but my socialization issues makes it hard for me to function in day to day life.” Typically they also wear a lot of black and dual wield.
For all the ragging I drop on edge lords, occasionally it’s fun to play a really serious character with an intense backstory and a certain badass feel to them. I remember my first edge lord was actually a Lord. Ruled over a little town. Daddy issues. Played with fires. Legitimately broke the law in his own town just to pardon himself, and as such break more rules simply because breaking rules in the town his dad used to own was his way of trying to get over the daddy issues. Not exactly fun for the group. But when used properly edge lords are a cool addition to any party. (Pop culture equivalents include Batman, The Punisher, and 90% of anime characters.)
2) Essentially Deadpool
“I roll to seduce the door.” But doors don’t feel attraction. “So? I cast animate object and seduce the door.” If you cast animate object you can just tell the door to open. “But I’ve been meaning to get laid again since that treant.” You get it. You’ve had to deal with this exact situation before. I am 100% sure, that this has happened word for word several times in the time it has taken you to read this sentence. They have an obsession. Their backstory is complete *Censored*. And they get you into more situations than they end up being an asset to the group. Often time’s you (and the GM) consider killing them off. But they do end up making some pretty good gaming stories.
But every time a gnoll is forced into slavery, a fourth wall is broken, or a merchant is killed for their clothes you die a little on the inside. Of course, sometimes it’s fun to do the same thing. I mean, I’ve captured goblins to experiment on. One got really smart and actually ended up chilling with my character for a long time before he was true polymorphed into a human and could live a normal life. Honestly, Deadpool is the goddamned best. Comedic relief is a requirement for any group. Hell, even the Avengers keep Hawkeye around. (Pop culture equivalents include Deadpool and another 5% of anime characters.)
3) Money Maker
Often also the ‘face’ of a group, the Money Maker is hellbent on making money. As the name would imply. Even if their own mother was being held at gunpoint, they’d still make her take them out for lunch afterward. Since they’re often the face, all the money passes through their hands before it gets to yours, and once it’s in yours… it seems a little less than it should be. But they never seem to have money until it’s essential. Whose turn is it to pay at the inn? Yeah, yeah. Next time. But when they need to bargain for their life with an angry dragon turtle, they seem to have very deep pockets…
Money is an important plot tool often times. After all, for the most part, adventurers don’t work for free, and while I may be critical of them, I often find myself saying the words “How much will ya pay for me?” whenever the prospect of me helping others comes forward. And really, who doesn’t love bathing in piles of money? It’s good for the skin. (Pop culture equivalents include Mr.Krabs and Scrooge McDuck.)
4) Backstory McGee
While it’s nice to have a character who’s involved in and a part of the world they exist in, there is too much of a good thing. You know the guy who brought two and a half books of backstory and personality traits, to the table and expects the GM to be fluent in his character in ten minutes? The character has more friends than he has skills and he always seems to “know a guy.” Which has it's utilities but when the he’s sitting there telling the group about his cousin Rick who lost his arm in a tragic fishing accident for the fifth time, it can get bothersome, to say the least.
Perhaps though, too much backstory is better than not enough. And I mean, when someone else is stumped during character creation, they’re usually the first to jump up with unique and original ideas that fit well with what was already crafted. And since the character is so intricately intertwined with the world, it can allow for some very interesting plot points with old friends and enemies, who actually have value to the game. (Pop culture equivalents include anything or anyone that has touched Tolkien.)
5) Conan The Bad-ass-barian
This is the character who was conveniently trained from birth to be an absolute killing machine. Not only was every single stat point meticulously placed in order to get the perfect balance of bonuses, but they are literally the best at everything. Smithing? Done it. Killing? Great at it. Essentially made of numbers with little to no soul or role-playing opportunities? You're damn right. They trade, crunch numbers and plan vigorously to make sure they have the right stats and magic items they need to obliterate any obstacle in their path. Perhaps making their character be able to move 1,120 feet in a turn (*cough* *cough* shameless self-plug *cough* *cough*) or punching straight through some dude’s chest and turning it into a blood eagle.
But in more moderate doses, power gamers are more optimisers, which is ideal. Focusing in on the things your character does well and honing them to a sharp perfection is a perfectly understandable goal, especially for more self-concerned or self-betterment based characters. Even being valuable to the group by helping less experienced players get a handle on the mechanics and the little tricks hidden in the games. (Pop culture equivalents include Superman and the protagonist of any Elder Scrolls game.)
6) The #&*$@!
This guy is literally the worst. They’re like a mixture of everyone else's’ worst traits, stupid backstory that's too long while they crack terrible jokes, takes their anger out on every NPC and PC they meet, describing far too much of everything done while they search unendingly for money and power. So insufferably cocky and self-centered that it just makes you want to… wait… is that a mirror? Oh you’ve got to be kidding me-- I’m not that bad! Ok sure, I can be a little bit troublesome. But aren’t we all sometimes? Steve! Just last week you killed a king for the food he was offering you! And Jeff? We both know you have a sketchbook at home and it’s filled with backstory for Scarnac.
Look, in moderation I’m ok. In moderation I’m like the best of both worlds. And really, isn’t that what we all should strive for as a community? Trying to be the best for everyone else who’s just trying to enjoy the same beautiful hobby as the rest of us? Despite my flaws, I like to think I bring just as much good to the table as anyone else. Can't you say the same? Or you can just complain about how I got the last magic item Jeff… that works too.
Really though, while I made a joke about grouping people up at the beginning of this I do think there’s a bunch more groups to be found in our little syndicate. Please feel free to drop them below in the comments because I am itching to see what other trends everyone else notices “round’ these parts.”
Jarod Lalonde is a young role-player and writer whose passion for both lead him here. He’s often sarcastic and has a +5 to insult. Dungeons and Dragons is his favorite platform. Although he’s not quite sure if it’s Cthulhu whispering to him in the small hours of the night, or just persistent flashbacks to the Far Realm.
Picture Reference: https://www.pinterest.com/hyaphire/role-playing/
I am become death, destroyer of worlds.